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Saturday, 3 March 2007

Weapons of mass destruction, explained....

First. A definition....

The word in Old English is spaedu, cognate forms being Dutch, Swedish and Danish spade, German Spaten; also related is spoon.

Now if that hasnt enlightened you, well i just dont know what will. For many years the spade has been at the forefront of mountain biking if you think about it. Whistler didnt come from the heavens (has been rumoured...) and your local jump spot didnt appear over night. For a trailbuilder the spade is the first and last tool allways off the mountain, for some it is like a 3rd arm. Like a paintbrush for an artist a spade to a trailbuilder is a way for them to create their own piece of art. There is so many different shapes,sizes e.t.c these days so heres a rundown for you....


1.The classic garden spade


This needs no introduction. Classic shaping and bombproof design. Plastic handle with a solid timber stem branching out onto a steel digging head.

Ones to look out for: wilkinsword,spear & jackson

2. The border spade.

Not soo much use to trailbuilders,but a spade non the less. Think of this as the garden spade on the slimfast plan. Smaller narrower head to get into thoses tight spots.




3. The silver surfer

A chavved up version of the garden spade. You get a stainless steel digging head that makes dirt slide off your spade, like shit off a shovel.

Bonuses: No rusting. Looks pimp. One for your mum when she hits 50 fo sure.




4. For professional use only. "A professional gardener never blames his tools". You heard it here first. This work of art is practically all steel to give you no flex and no failures. Normally spades of this calibre come with a lifetime guarantee aswell so if you do somehow manage to break it then jobs a gudden.




5. Suspension. (oh yes)

When i first saw one of these i was in awe. I mean come on the handle flexs and everything. A true tool for the hardcore. One for all you dan cowans out there.




6. Personal favourite.

Read and weep............

  • Simple twisting catch allows handle length to be extended or shortened
  • Extends from 1.05m to 1.25m
Yes i thought it aswell. My god. If epic could be summed up in one object then this would take the biscuit. Im saving up right now....



Well there you have it, the most worryingly sad review ever. Most of you probably havent even got to this bit without falling asleep, but if you have just take a minute and think what your mates would think of you reading an article on spades.....

:)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

ahhh wel, very intresting, but you forgot the, dur dur dur, gravedigger. the best tool ever.not so good for finely sculpting dirt lips but 'proper reet gud' for digging downhill tracks.i think the good people deserve a test of this too.
p.s. hopefully all the nocycling crew are riding doctorsgate and a few other peak routes this weekend.the dh track you lot are building doesnt finish near the dam wall at the bottom of win hill does it? noticed bike prints coming out the woods there and am wondering weather we are allowed to check it out or not?......

joe90 said...

Ey up rob you at the next hopton round on the 18th? Yeh go for it on the track mate, it might be a bit worse for wear at the mo mind you.. Il get onto the gravedigger....